Kate (sugardandy) wrote,
Kate
sugardandy

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yes I own a real journal

yep thats right I own my own journal...I've wanting to post entries from it...so here I go...here is some stuff I write in my real life journal:

Do you ever feel so alone that your insides ache, so alone that it's painful?
Its funny I'm surrounded by thousands of people, talk to hundreds a day and I still feel so alone. I wish I could find one person who'd make me feel less alone. I've found a few but they never seem to get it...never seem to understand what it is to be completely alone. To feel that ache deep in your chest constricting, sufficating. To feel empty and distant. To feel so far from yourself that you're not even sure you're you anymore. To be so far gone you simply need to touch someone to feel you're own skin. to touch someone to bring you back to yourself. god how I want that person that one person to bring me back to myself. that person to understand and for them to give a shit...never reach for the stars,you'll only strain yourself. Never shoot for the stars you'll crash and burn in a firey hell....

Why does life, love hurt us this way. why do we never get what we want? and is it selfish to want it

P.S. NO this is about no imperticular....but me.

I have a dream I might actually be able to find someone someday. someone who will actually appreciate me and not take me for granite. Someone who will love me unconditionally, show it, and never leave me, never cheat on me. Someone I can grow old with and share everything with. Someone who only sees the beautiful things about me. Everyday I loose hope of this dream, I won't die alone and crushed. Reality is harsh and in reality your hope for something better gets crushed over and over again. but you can't help but hope. reality is harsh. and I wonder if it ever ends? this harsh cycle we torture ourselves with. forgive me if I'm cynical I am but a distroyed soul void of all hope....sorry try again

P.S. Keep in mind these where written a while ago....they just hold true today as well...
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